kids in public washrooms

Public washrooms are disgusting
Especially if you have kids
So much so, mom may prefer
Her child ends up with a skid

While at a mall or restaurant
Parents cringe when their kids say
“I have to use the washroom!”
The fun transforms into dismay

“Please don't touch the handles!”
“Let mama get the door for you!”
As the pair walk towards the stall
Mom prays for pee and not a poo

Both crammed inside the stinky cell
It seems her words play on repeat
“Please, Honey, don’t touch a thing!”
Knowing next is that ghastly seat

“Stand there, don't move a muscle!”
As mama pulls each square by square
Thin TP placed atop the can
As she spots a pubic hair

Asks the child to stand real still
Undresses them from the waist down
Again, it’s, “Please don't touch a thing!”
Still hoping for yellow and not brown

Mom lifts the squirmy tyke
Tries to place them there just right
When all the paper squares disperse
Ruining mom's hygienic plight

And there they sit on top of germs
Without a care in the whole world
Resting on pubes and dried-up pee
While mom cringes and almost hurls

Just as she’s about to say
"Hold on to me and not the seat!"
The child’s fingers grab the sides
And mama’s heart misses a beat

It’s OK, mom tells herself
Because hand-washing is what’s next
Make their way towards the sinks
Where mom’s annoyed and she's perplexed

The child is half the size of her
With hands that cannot reach the sink
A problem solved with footstools
All public washrooms missing link

Sets her purse on a wet counter
Then turns on the nasty tap
Lifts the youngster to her knee
Who’s pinched between a sink and lap

Disregarding her child’s groans
Through shallow breath, mama demands
“Hold out your hands and scrub ‘em good!”
Hoping her child understands

She backs away, the kiddo drops
Back to the ground onto their feet
It’s mommy’s turn to have a wash
“Touch nothing!” she repeats

Then, just as mom's about to grab
Some paper towels for the pair
Notices her kid playing
With a gob of someone else's hair

Public washrooms are disgusting
Especially if you have kids
So much so, mom may prefer
Her child ends up with a skid 💩